Fags on fixies http://fagsonfixies.com A world where faggery and fixery collide Fri, 07 Oct 2011 16:34:17 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Oh my giddy dick, I can’t wait for this one… http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/10/07/oh-my-giddy-dick-i-cant-wait-for-this-one/ http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/10/07/oh-my-giddy-dick-i-cant-wait-for-this-one/#comments Fri, 07 Oct 2011 16:34:17 +0000 Threedicks http://fagsonfixies.com/?p=292 “I like to ride. Fixed gear. No brakes. Can’t stop…don’t want to either.”

SLAMS INTO BACK OF TAXI.

Ok…so waaaaait….you can stop? You mean you just have no CONTROL over when you stop? I have no fucking idea what this movie is supposed to be about but at a rough guess I’ll go with YEAH FIXIE EXTREME LIFESTYLE NEW YORK ON THE EDGE CAN’T BUY ME BRO FUCK YOU SUITS I CAN JUMP A DUMPSTER ON MY FIXIE WHOOP WHOOP HELLA RAD!

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]]> http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/10/07/oh-my-giddy-dick-i-cant-wait-for-this-one/feed/ 3 This is Sam Pepper, he was on the UK version of Big Brother http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/10/05/this-is-sam-pepper-he-was-on-the-uk-version-of-big-brother/ http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/10/05/this-is-sam-pepper-he-was-on-the-uk-version-of-big-brother/#comments Wed, 05 Oct 2011 19:32:26 +0000 Threedicks http://fagsonfixies.com/?p=284 He seems to be one half pre-pubescent pirate and the other half Harry Potter. He’s got all the sweet fixie gear.

It seems the only thing Sam Pepper is missing is a functioning pair of testicles.

Sam fucking Pepper what a cunt

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]]> http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/10/05/this-is-sam-pepper-he-was-on-the-uk-version-of-big-brother/feed/ 2 If you asked me to describe my vision of purgatory… http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/09/27/if-you-asked-me-to-describe-my-vision-of-purgatory/ http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/09/27/if-you-asked-me-to-describe-my-vision-of-purgatory/#comments Tue, 27 Sep 2011 14:36:11 +0000 Threedicks http://fagsonfixies.com/?p=276 …I would imagine a world just like this one…except everyone is a fashionable, flamboyant French artist with a penchant for intellectualizing the mundane and they’re all competing for my attention at a party with no alcohol and an iPod playing Coldplay on repeat.

I could never have imagined anything as horrible as this…

http://www.lachaineducoeur.fr/becycle/

P.S. Join FOF on Facebook —>

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]]> http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/09/27/if-you-asked-me-to-describe-my-vision-of-purgatory/feed/ 0 It’s always good to get feedback on Fags on Fixies… http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/07/13/its-always-good-to-get-feedback-on-fags-on-fixies/ http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/07/13/its-always-good-to-get-feedback-on-fags-on-fixies/#comments Wed, 13 Jul 2011 20:13:19 +0000 Threedicks http://fagsonfixies.com/?p=271 …so I was stoked to receive this message from ‘Hamish’.

“this is the biggest waste of anyones time in the world, i wouldn’t call myself ‘hipster’ as I dont wear original vans and rolled up jeans and shit but i like bikes with drop bars and bright colours so the fact the website just takes the piss out of people who ride bikes and like to be outside having fun is really really lame because it is ovbvious that you are some cunty guy who sits on his jobless arse all day being as shallow as possible. Get. A. Life.”

You’re almost right…but I lie in bed, being fed through a tube and typing with a digital proboscis attached to my forehead.

This is for you…

…yeah that’s right, Armani all up in this shit proving fixie FASHION sucks a sweaty dick.

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]]> http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/07/13/its-always-good-to-get-feedback-on-fags-on-fixies/feed/ 6 Yeah so the other day I turned up at this fixie meet dressed as a banana… http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/29/yeah-so-the-other-day-i-turned-up-at-this-fixie-meet-dressed-as-a-banana/ http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/29/yeah-so-the-other-day-i-turned-up-at-this-fixie-meet-dressed-as-a-banana/#comments Wed, 29 Jun 2011 12:06:35 +0000 Threedicks http://fagsonfixies.com/?p=267

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]]> http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/29/yeah-so-the-other-day-i-turned-up-at-this-fixie-meet-dressed-as-a-banana/feed/ 0 Ya know I’m having difficulty with this one… http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/18/ya-know-im-having-difficulty-with-this-one/ http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/18/ya-know-im-having-difficulty-with-this-one/#comments Sat, 18 Jun 2011 23:21:15 +0000 Threedicks http://fagsonfixies.com/?p=264 …I’m thinking maybe this is some kind of trap. It seems real….but then fat guy in the plaid shirt riding with no hands made me check myself…and when the ginger dude on the pink bicycle starts talking and I was kinda like ‘Woah woah woah…alright, haha, alright you got me!’ This is a spoof right? Right? For the love of God…please tell me this is a spoof.

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]]> http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/18/ya-know-im-having-difficulty-with-this-one/feed/ 1 Bikes dot Urban Outfitters dot com http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/18/bikes-dot-urban-outfitters-dot-com/ http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/18/bikes-dot-urban-outfitters-dot-com/#comments Sat, 18 Jun 2011 12:13:50 +0000 Threedicks http://fagsonfixies.com/?p=249 Bullshit bikes available from Urban OutfittersBull dot fucking dot shit.

You buy your bike from Urban Outfitters and you’re basically saying ‘I embrace fashion like I embrace the conjoined twin that sprouts from my ass’. You’re saying ‘Do you have the cycle cap that matches this colour way?’. You’re saying ‘OMG can you, like, believe they’ve got a bike that matches my yellow Porsche and my roller boots?’.

Do not shop in Urban Outfitters. Do not ride fixies. Save yourself from the hate and disgust of passers by and drive a fucking Humvee with a polar bear interior instead.

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]]> http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/18/bikes-dot-urban-outfitters-dot-com/feed/ 0 Man I don’t even know where to go with this one… http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/17/man-i-dont-even-know-where-to-go-with-this-one/ http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/17/man-i-dont-even-know-where-to-go-with-this-one/#comments Fri, 17 Jun 2011 12:32:10 +0000 Threedicks http://fagsonfixies.com/?p=253 I could probably argue that this clip is an analogy for the entire downfall of Western civilization, that the adoption of bicycles without brakes is a symbol of the regression of intelligence that our oppressive government has precipitated by introducing a cocktail of drugs into our food and water supplies and by broadcasting idiocy into our homes.

However, I think this comment from the kid who uploaded the video says it best:

Does the kid with the blue shirt have down syndrome?
mrtheroosterdude 1 month ago

@mrtheroosterdude dude idk wat hes got but hes fuckin stupid
Basskilla403 1 month ago

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]]> http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/17/man-i-dont-even-know-where-to-go-with-this-one/feed/ 2 When I say fixie you say fag… http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/16/when-i-say-fixie-you-say-fa/ http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/16/when-i-say-fixie-you-say-fa/#comments Thu, 16 Jun 2011 12:09:48 +0000 Threedicks http://fagsonfixies.com/?p=245 Me – FIXIE.

You – Fag.

Me – FIXIE.

You – Fag.

Ah screw that, they can do this better than I can.

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]]> http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/16/when-i-say-fixie-you-say-fa/feed/ 0 I may be wrong, but I think dude is Prince Harry. http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/09/i-may-be-wrong-but-i-think-dude-is-prince-harry/ http://fagsonfixies.com/2011/06/09/i-may-be-wrong-but-i-think-dude-is-prince-harry/#comments Thu, 09 Jun 2011 07:51:26 +0000 Threedicks http://fagsonfixies.com/?p=233 Yo peep the truth Harry:

You’re ginger, you’re wearing chick shoes a helicopter hat and oyster catchers, you’re working as a bicycle message bitch in some butthole town in Merrie old England, your brother gets to be King of England and you’re illegitimate, but even after all this…you only get pissed when somebody jacks your fixie?

SON, THAT’S THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED TO YOU ALL DAY.


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