1) The Bristol accent.
Sam Pepper penis?
…as soon as they teach this fucking robot to grow a moustache and wear plaid WE’RE DOOMED.
Let me give you four words that will make your soul curl up cry for release from this mortal plane.
Hong. Kong. Fixie. Hardcore.
You think you know what to expect right? Asian guys in fluro hotpants disco dancing and sweating in front of a stationary fixie. OH YOU WISH IT WAS.
WORSE…it’s seven minutes…SEVEN MINUTES of black and white footage set to a James Bond meets Burt Bacharach soundtrack of self-conscious graphic design students doing wack ass wheelies on their fucking shitty bicycles. Jesus Christ.
What the fuck is this? When did this become ok? Why did nobody offer me ride off this fucking planet before this shit started happening? Get me the fuck out of this solar system now.
Jesus fucking Christ.